fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Monkey In the Plane
Once in Brazil a plane crashed, only a monkey who was traveling in the plane was left alive. Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand our language and reply in actions. The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the monkey.
Officer: "When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Tying their belts"
Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Saying Hello! Good morning!"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Checking the system"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Looking for my people"
Officer: "After 10' minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Having beverages and snacks"
Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Serving the travelers"
Officer: "What were the Pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Eating & throwing"
Officer: "After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Some were sleeping and some were reading"
Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Make up"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Nothing"
Officer: "Just before plane crash what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "All were sleeping"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the air hostess"
Officer: What were you doing?
Monkey: Handling the steering!!!!!
No more Questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Officer: "When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Tying their belts"
Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Saying Hello! Good morning!"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Checking the system"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Looking for my people"
Officer: "After 10' minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Having beverages and snacks"
Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Serving the travelers"
Officer: "What were the Pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Eating & throwing"
Officer: "After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Some were sleeping and some were reading"
Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Make up"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Nothing"
Officer: "Just before plane crash what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "All were sleeping"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the air hostess"
Officer: What were you doing?
Monkey: Handling the steering!!!!!
No more Questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, April 14, 2008
710
This doesn't mean all women are stupid when it comes to cars....
But there always some exceptions?
Yesterday I was having some work done at the Ford dealer. A woman came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there." The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car ?" She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there."
Now, this is how 710 looks like.........
But there always some exceptions?
Yesterday I was having some work done at the Ford dealer. A woman came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there." The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car ?" She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there."
Now, this is how 710 looks like.........
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Interesting and Informative Things
1. If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side
2. If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
3. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
4. Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.
5. The Mercedes-Benz motto is 'Das Beste oder Nichts' meaning 'the best or nothing'.
6. The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.
7. The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.
8. The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.
9. Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.
10. The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
11. Dalmatians are born without spots.
12. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
13. The 'v' in the name of a court case does not stand for 'versus', but for 'and' (in civil proceedings) or 'against' (in criminal proceedings)
14. Men's shirts have the buttons on the right, but women's shirts have the buttons on the left
15. The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids
16. The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it's already been digested by a bee
17. Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks
18. The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones
19. Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die
20. Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart
21. The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate
22. When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red
23. When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red
24. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor
25. The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney
26. Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros
27. Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of Japan
28. It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it
29. The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples < http://attitude.com.pk/>
30. There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower
31. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting
32. Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death
33. It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body
34. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets
35. Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game
36. The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air
37. Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die
38. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like it is smiling).
39. Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."
40. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot
41. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair
42. The average person laughs 13 times a day
43. Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are:Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil)
44. Women blink nearly twice as much as men
45. German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog
46. Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump
47. Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound
48. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death
49. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause.
50. The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!!
2. If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
3. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
4. Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.
5. The Mercedes-Benz motto is 'Das Beste oder Nichts' meaning 'the best or nothing'.
6. The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.
7. The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.
8. The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.
9. Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.
10. The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
11. Dalmatians are born without spots.
12. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
13. The 'v' in the name of a court case does not stand for 'versus', but for 'and' (in civil proceedings) or 'against' (in criminal proceedings)
14. Men's shirts have the buttons on the right, but women's shirts have the buttons on the left
15. The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids
16. The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it's already been digested by a bee
17. Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks
18. The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones
19. Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die
20. Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart
21. The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate
22. When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red
23. When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red
24. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor
25. The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney
26. Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros
27. Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of Japan
28. It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it
29. The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples < http://attitude.com.pk/>
30. There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower
31. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting
32. Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death
33. It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body
34. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets
35. Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game
36. The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air
37. Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die
38. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like it is smiling).
39. Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."
40. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot
41. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair
42. The average person laughs 13 times a day
43. Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are:Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil)
44. Women blink nearly twice as much as men
45. German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog
46. Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump
47. Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound
48. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death
49. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause.
50. The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!!
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Reasons Why I Never Visit My Rich Friend
Once while visiting a very rich friend, the maid approached me and.....
Question : "What would you like to have..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea,
Chocolate, Capuccino, Frapuccino,or Coffee?"
Answer: " Tea please"
Question : " Ceylon tea, Indian tea, Herbal tea,Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Iced tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "
Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?
Answer: "white"
Question: "Milk, or fresh cream?
Answer: "With milk "
Question: "Goat's milk, or cow's milk"
Answer: "With cow's milk please.
Question: " Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll just take it black. "
Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar"
Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "
Question:" White, brown or yellow sugar?"
Answer: "Forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water instead."
Question: "Mineral water, tap water or distilled water? "
Answer: "Mineral water"
Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I think I'll just die of thirst
Question : "What would you like to have..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea,
Chocolate, Capuccino, Frapuccino,or Coffee?"
Answer: " Tea please"
Question : " Ceylon tea, Indian tea, Herbal tea,Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Iced tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "
Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?
Answer: "white"
Question: "Milk, or fresh cream?
Answer: "With milk "
Question: "Goat's milk, or cow's milk"
Answer: "With cow's milk please.
Question: " Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll just take it black. "
Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar"
Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "
Question:" White, brown or yellow sugar?"
Answer: "Forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water instead."
Question: "Mineral water, tap water or distilled water? "
Answer: "Mineral water"
Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I think I'll just die of thirst
Pregnant
In a second grade sex education class, a little girl asks,
Teacher, can my momma get pregnant?"
The teacher asks, "How old is your mother?"
The little girl says, "Forty."
The teacher says, "Yes, your mother could get pregnant."
The little girl asks, "Can my big sister get pregnant?"
The teacher asks, "How old is your sister?"
The little girl answers, "Nineteen."
The teacher says, "Oh my yes, your sister certainly could get pregnant."
The little girl asks, "Can I get pregnant?" The teacher asks,
"How old are you?"
The little girl says, "I'm seven years ! ! old."
The teacher says, "No, you can't get pregnant."
The little boy behind the little girl gives her a poke and says, "See, I told you we had nothing to worry about." !!!!!
Teacher, can my momma get pregnant?"
The teacher asks, "How old is your mother?"
The little girl says, "Forty."
The teacher says, "Yes, your mother could get pregnant."
The little girl asks, "Can my big sister get pregnant?"
The teacher asks, "How old is your sister?"
The little girl answers, "Nineteen."
The teacher says, "Oh my yes, your sister certainly could get pregnant."
The little girl asks, "Can I get pregnant?" The teacher asks,
"How old are you?"
The little girl says, "I'm seven years ! ! old."
The teacher says, "No, you can't get pregnant."
The little boy behind the little girl gives her a poke and says, "See, I told you we had nothing to worry about." !!!!!
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