Monday, December 28, 2009
1. Offer to "babysit" your own kids. When your 16-year-old neighbor does it, it's called babysitting. When a parent does it, it's called child care, and it lasts for at least 18 years. Get it?
2. Imply that office work is harder than housework. At the end of a hard day, there may be smoke coming out of your ears, but let's face it: You've basically been sitting on your butt. That same smoke is coming out of our ears too—but we've cleaned the house, shuttled the kids around, run errands all over town and lugged grocery bags besides. When we say we're exhausted, we are exhausted.
3. Give a home appliance as a gift. Forgive us if we can't work it up for this one. A new washing machine? Really? Can we get you some new snow tires?
4. Buy us the "cougar" perfume. Under our crew-neck sweaters may beat the heart of an untamed vixen—but most of us don't want to smell like one. (Nice try, though.)
5. Brag about your driving. This is supposed to let us know that ours isn't so great. If my husband tells me one more time that he's been "accident-free since 1978," I'm going to reach over, grab the wheel and make the car swerve into something, just to shut him up.
6. Be unimpressed by a meal that took a lot of time and trouble. I don't know whose fault this is (Food Network? Julie and Julia?), but every so often we get the idea that it would be fun to make stock and spend the day basting. If the result is less than earth-shattering, say something nice anyway.
7. Buy clothes without trying them on. We know that the second you get into a department store you start to feel faint, but do us a favor and take the extra five minutes. Otherwise, you know who gets stuck with the returns?
8. Know it all, especially in public. Oh, honey. While you're going on at length about whatever it is, we're taking the temperature of the room, and we know everyone's starting to fidget.
9. Say anything remotely critical about our new haircut. Sometimes getting a new cut goes well; sometimes it doesn't. Usually we know the difference. Don't rub it in.
10. Expect a medal for doing a little housework. Umm…it's your house too, right? For now, we'll give you the bronze. Maybe someday, if you work hard enough, you can pick up a gold.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
FIAT: Failure in Italian Automotive Technology.
FORD: For Only Rough Drivers.
HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive.
VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object.
PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything.
KIA: Kills In Accidents
OPEL: Old People Enjoying Life
TOYOTA: The One You Only Trust, Always.
GOLF/GTI: Girls Only Love Fun / Get Them Inside
HONDA: Hanged Over, Now Driving Away.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
You have to try this please, it takes 2 seconds. I could not believe this! It is from an orthopaedic surgeon…………
This will confuse your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't. It is pre-programmed in your brain!
1. While sitting at your desk in front of your computer,lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6′ in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.
I told you so! And there's nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so.
Tell your friends to frustrate them too.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
General keyboard shortcuts
* CTRL+C (Copy)
* CTRL+X (Cut)
* CTRL+V (Paste)
* CTRL+Z (Undo)
* DELETE (Delete)
* SHIFT+DELETE (Delete the selected item permanently without placing the item in the Recycle Bin)
* CTRL while dragging an item (Copy the selected item)
* CTRL+SHIFT while dragging an item (Create a shortcut to the selected item)
* F2 key (Rename the selected item)
* CTRL+RIGHT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next word)
* CTRL+LEFT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous word)
* CTRL+DOWN ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next paragraph)
* CTRL+UP ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous paragraph)
* CTRL+SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Highlight a block of text)
* SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Select more than one item in a window or on the desktop, or select text in a document)
* CTRL+A (Select all)
* F3 key (Search for a file or a folder)
* ALT+ENTER (View the properties for the selected item)
* ALT+F4 (Close the active item, or quit the active program)
* ALT+ENTER (Display the properties of the selected object)
* ALT+SPACEBAR (Open the shortcut menu for the active window)
* CTRL+F4 (Close the active document in programs that enable you to have multiple documents open simultaneously)
* ALT+TAB (Switch between the open items)
* ALT+ESC (Cycle through items in the order that they had been opened)
* F6 key (Cycle through the screen elements in a window or on the desktop)
* F4 key (Display the Address bar list in My Computer or Windows Explorer)
* SHIFT+F10 (Display the shortcut menu for the selected item)
* ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the System menu for the active window)
* CTRL+ESC (Display the Start menu)
* ALT+Underlined letter in a menu name (Display the corresponding menu)
* Underlined letter in a command name on an open menu (Perform the corresponding command)
* F10 key (Activate the menu bar in the active program)
* RIGHT ARROW (Open the next menu to the right, or open a submenu)
* LEFT ARROW (Open the next menu to the left, or close a submenu)
* F5 key (Update the active window)
* BACKSPACE (View the folder one level up in My Computer or Windows Explorer)
* ESC (Cancel the current task)
* SHIFT when you insert a CD-ROM into the CD-ROM drive (Prevent the CD-ROM from automatically playing)
* CTRL+SHIFT+ESC (Open Task Manager)
Dialog box keyboard shortcuts
If you press SHIFT+F8 in extended selection list boxes, you enable extended selection mode. In this mode, you can use an arrow key to move a cursor without changing the selection. You can press CTRL+SPACEBAR or SHIFT+SPACEBAR to adjust the selection. To cancel extended selection mode, press SHIFT+F8 again. Extended selection mode cancels itself when you move the focus to another control.
* CTRL+TAB (Move forward through the tabs)
* CTRL+SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the tabs)
* TAB (Move forward through the options)
* SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the options)
* ALT+Underlined letter (Perform the corresponding command or select the corresponding option)
* ENTER (Perform the command for the active option or button)
* SPACEBAR (Select or clear the check box if the active option is a check box)
* Arrow keys (Select a button if the active option is a group of option buttons)
* F1 key (Display Help)
* F4 key (Display the items in the active list)
* BACKSPACE (Open a folder one level up if a folder is selected in the Save As or Open dialog box)
Microsoft natural keyboard shortcuts
* Windows Logo (Display or hide the Start menu)
* Windows Logo+BREAK (Display the System Properties dialog box)
* Windows Logo+D (Display the desktop)
* Windows Logo+M (Minimize all of the windows)
* Windows Logo+SHIFT+M (Restore the minimized windows)
* Windows Logo+E (Open My Computer)
* Windows Logo+F (Search for a file or a folder)
* CTRL+Windows Logo+F (Search for computers)
* Windows Logo+F1 (Display Windows Help)
* Windows Logo+ L (Lock the keyboard)
* Windows Logo+R (Open the Run dialog box)
* Windows Logo+U (Open Utility Manager)
Accessibility keyboard shortcuts
* Right SHIFT for eight seconds (Switch FilterKeys either on or off)
* Left ALT+left SHIFT+PRINT SCREEN (Switch High Contrast either on or off)
* Left ALT+left SHIFT+NUM LOCK (Switch the MouseKeys either on or off)
* SHIFT five times (Switch the StickyKeys either on or off)
* NUM LOCK for five seconds (Switch the ToggleKeys either on or off)
* Windows Logo +U (Open Utility Manager)
Windows Explorer keyboard shortcuts
* END (Display the bottom of the active window)
* HOME (Display the top of the active window)
* NUM LOCK+Asterisk sign (*) (Display all of the subfolders that are under the selected folder)
* NUM LOCK+Plus sign (+) (Display the contents of the selected folder)
* NUM LOCK+Minus sign (-) (Collapse the selected folder)
* LEFT ARROW (Collapse the current selection if it is expanded, or select the parent folder)
* RIGHT ARROW (Display the current selection if it is collapsed, or select the first subfolder)
Shortcut keys for Character Map
After you double-click a character on the grid of characters, you can move through the grid by using the keyboard shortcuts:
* RIGHT ARROW (Move to the right or to the beginning of the next line)
* LEFT ARROW (Move to the left or to the end of the previous line)
* UP ARROW (Move up one row)
* DOWN ARROW (Move down one row)
* PAGE UP (Move up one screen at a time)
* PAGE DOWN (Move down one screen at a time)
* HOME (Move to the beginning of the line)
* END (Move to the end of the line)
* CTRL+HOME (Move to the first character)
* CTRL+END (Move to the last character)
* SPACEBAR (Switch between Enlarged and Normal mode when a character is selected)
Microsoft Management Console (MMC) main window keyboard shortcuts
* CTRL+O (Open a saved console)
* CTRL+N (Open a new console)
* CTRL+S (Save the open console)
* CTRL+M (Add or remove a console item)
* CTRL+W (Open a new window)
* F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)
* ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the MMC window menu)
* ALT+F4 (Close the console)
* ALT+A (Display the Action menu)
* ALT+V (Display the View menu)
* ALT+F (Display the File menu)
* ALT+O (Display the Favorites menu)
MMC console window keyboard shortcuts
* CTRL+P (Print the current page or active pane)
* ALT+Minus sign (-) (Display the window menu for the active console window)
* SHIFT+F10 (Display the Action shortcut menu for the selected item)
* F1 key (Open the Help topic, if any, for the selected item)
* F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)
* CTRL+F10 (Maximize the active console window)
* CTRL+F5 (Restore the active console window)
* ALT+ENTER (Display the Properties dialog box, if any, for the selected item)
* F2 key (Rename the selected item)
* CTRL+F4 (Close the active console window. When a console has only one console window, this shortcut closes the console)
Remote desktop connection navigation
* CTRL+ALT+END (Open the Microsoft Windows NT Security dialog box)
* ALT+PAGE UP (Switch between programs from left to right)
* ALT+PAGE DOWN (Switch between programs from right to left)
* ALT+INSERT (Cycle through the programs in most recently used order)
* ALT+HOME (Display the Start menu)
* CTRL+ALT+BREAK (Switch the client computer between a window and a full screen)
* ALT+DELETE (Display the Windows menu)
* CTRL+ALT+Minus sign (-) (Place a snapshot of the entire client window area on the Terminal server clipboard and provide the same functionality as pressing ALT+PRINT SCREEN on a local computer.)
* CTRL+ALT+Plus sign (+) (Place a snapshot of the active window in the client on the Terminal server clipboard and provide the same functionality as pressing PRINT SCREEN on a local computer.)
Microsoft Internet Explorer navigation
* CTRL+B (Open the Organize Favorites dialog box)
* CTRL+E (Open the Search bar)
* CTRL+F (Start the Find utility)
* CTRL+H (Open the History bar)
* CTRL+I (Open the Favorites bar)
* CTRL+L (Open the Open dialog box)
* CTRL+N (Start another instance of the browser with the same Web address)
* CTRL+O (Open the Open dialog box, the same as CTRL+L)
* CTRL+P (Open the Print dialog box)
* CTRL+R (Update the current Web page)
* CTRL+W (Close the current window)
Monday, August 17, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
1. You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
2. Your resume is on a disk in your pocket.
3. When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
4. You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
5. You learn about your layoff on CNN.
6. Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.
7. Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
8. You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
9. Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.
10. It's dark when you drive to and from work.
11. Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
12. "Communication" is something your group is having problems with.
13. You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
14. Free food left over from meetings is your main staple diet.
15. Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.
16. Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
17. You're already late on the assignment you just got.
18. Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
19. Your boss' favorite lines are "When you get a few minutes", "In your spare time", "When you're freed up", and "I have an opportunity for you."
20. Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Here are tips that have helped me get good sleep:
Good habits for good sleep:
1. Exercise most days, even if it’s just to take a walk.
2. No caffeine after 6:00 p.m.
3. An hour before bedtime, avoid doing any kind of work that takes alert thinking. Addressing envelopes—okay. Analyzing an article—nope.
4. Adjust your bedroom temperature to be slightly chilly.
5. Keep your bedroom dark. Studies show that even the tiny light from a digital alarm clock can disrupt a sleep cycle. We have about six devices in our room that glow bright green; it’s like sleeping in a mad scientist’s lab. I have to put a pillow over the cable box.
6. Keep the bedroom as tidy as possible. It’s not restful to fight through chaos into bed.
If sleep won’t come:
7. Breathe deeply and slowly until you can’t stand it anymore.
8. If your mind is racing (you’re planning a trip, a move; you’re worried about a medical diagnosis), write down what’s on your mind. This technique really works for me.
9. Slather yourself with body lotion. This feels good and also, if you’re having trouble sleeping because you’re hot, it cools you down.
10. If your feet are cold, put on socks.
11. Stretch your whole body.
12. Have a warm drink. Supposedly warm milk contains melatonin and trytophan and so helps induce sleep, but in fact, a glass of milk doesn’t contain enough to have any effect. Nevertheless, it’s soothing to have a warm drink. My nighttime favorite: 1/3 mug of milk, add boiling water, one packet of Equal, and a dash of vanilla. A real nursery treat.
14. Stretch your toes up and down several times.
15. Tell yourself, “I have to get up now.” Imagine that you just hit the snooze alarm and in a minute, you’re going to be marching through the morning routine. Often this is an exhausting enough prospect to make me fall asleep.
16. If you still can't sleep, re-frame: re-frame your sleeplessness as a welcome opportunity to snatch some extra time out of your day. I get up and tackle mundane chores, like paying bills, organizing books, or tidying up. Then I start the day with a wonderful feeling of having accomplished something even before 6:45 am.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
You are listening to jazz -- Your first day at work is great.
Your co-workers are wonderful, your office is cute,
you love your boss, and your President is the best!
You are listening to pop music -- After a while you are
so busy that you are not sure if you're coming or going anymore.
You are listening to heavy metal --
This is what happens after about SIX Months!
You are listening to hip hop -- You become bloated due to stress,
you're gaining weight due to lack of exercise because you are so
tired and have so much work to do and when you get home you have more work to do.
You feel sluggish and suffer from constipation.
Your fellow co-workers are too cheerful for your liking and the walls of your cubicle are closing in.
You are listening to GANGSTA RAP --
After more time passes, your eyes start to twitch,
you forget what a 'good hair day' feels like as you
just fall out of bed and load up on caffeine.
You are listening to the voices in your head --
You have locked the office door to keep people out,
You wonder WHY you are even here in the first
place and WHY did I come to work today!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
When I was 6 Yrs Old: My father seems to know everyone
When I was 10 Yrs Old: My father is excellent but he is short tempered
When I was 12 Yrs Old: My father was nice when I was little
When I was 14 Yrs Old: My father started being too sensitive
When I was 16 Yrs Old: My father can't keep up with modern time
When I was 18 Yrs Old: My father is getting less tolerant as the days pass by.
When I was 20 Yrs Old: It is too hard to forgive my father, how could my Mum stand him all these years.
When I was 25 Yrs Old: My father seems to be objecting to everything I do!
When I was 30 Yrs Old: It's very difficult to be in agreement with my father, I wonder if my Grandfather was troubled by my father when he was a youth.
When I was 40 Yrs Old: My father brought me up with a lot of discipline, I must do the same
When I was 45 Yrs Old: I am puzzled, how did my father manage to raise all of us
When I was 50 Yrs Old: It's rather difficult to control my kids, how much did my father suffer for the sake of upbringing and protecting us
When I was 55 Yrs Old: My father was far looking and had wide plans for us, he was gentle and outstanding.
When I became 60 Yrs Old: My father is THE BEST
Note that it took 56 Yrs to complete the cycle and return to the starting point "My father is THE BEST "
Let's be good to our parents before it's too late and pray to Allah that our own children will treat us even better than the way we treated our parents.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
A. 'Parent keys not found!'
Q. What if your old girl friend spots you with your new one?
A. 'Duplicate value on index!'
Q. What if the golf ball doesn't get into the hole at all?
A. 'Value larger than specified precision!'
Q. What if you try to have fun with somebody else's girlfriend and get kicked out?
A. 'Insufficient privileges on the specified object!'
Q. What if you don't get any response from the girl next door?
A. 'No data found!' or ' Query caused no rows retrieved !'
Q. What if you get response from the girl next door and her Mom too?
A. 'SELECT INTO returns too many rows!'
Q. What if you dial a wrong number?
A. 'Invalid number' or ' Object doesn't exist!'
Q. What if you try to beat your own trumpet?
A. 'Object is found mutating!'
Q. What if you are too late to office and the boss catches you?
A. 'Discrete transaction failed!'
Q. What if you see 'theatre full' when you go to a movie?
A. 'Maximum number of users exceeded!'
Q. What if you don't get table in the lunch room?
A. 'System out of tablespace!'
Monday, April 20, 2009
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand.. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story
Always let your boss have the first say.
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he ran up to Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.
3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
6. I brought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?
7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.
8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God shake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
Last one from me to Mr Bill Gates :
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?
Monday, April 6, 2009
Optimus Prime whose alternate form is a Peterbilt truck.
Ironhide the weapons specialist, who transforms into a GMC Topkick.
Ratchet the medic, and a Hummer H2.
Bumblebee, who will now be a 2010 Chevorlet Camaro.
Arcee, the female Autobot, who will be Megan Fox's pink motorcycle. She was actualy supposed to be in the first movie, but Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci felt "we needed to win the audience over before asking for that suspension of disbelief: a feminine alien robot."
Jolt, originally a Decepticon, but in this he's a good guy. He'll be switching into a Chevrolet Volt plug-in hybrid.
Jetfire, an older Decepticon who switches sides, and transforms into a SR71 Blackbird jet. According to Michael Bay: "He's old, craggy, forgetful ... doesn't work very well. Can't transform very well, because he's very geriatric. They get stuck with him a lot. He knows the plan of the bad guys, but he forgets all the good parts of the plan."
Skid and Mudflap, a.k.a. "The Twins" a.k.a. Chevrolet Beat and Trax concept cars."Some of the junior Transformers are just dumb. But it's great for kids because they're like the Little Engine That Could. They're (screw)-ups, but they get really heroic at the end," says Bay.
Sideswipe, who was a bright red Lamborghini in the original will now be a GM silver Corvette Stingray concept car.
Starscream, Megatron's one-time second in command. He's a F-22 Raptor jet, and can be seen in the gallery below.
Scorponok, the memorable mechanical scorpion
Sideways, who is the Audi R8 crashing through a building in the trailer
Ravage, the mechanical jaguar. He's the one Orci and Kurtzman seem to be the most excited about. "In the spirit of 'more than meets the eye,' Ravage isn't just lethal because of his sharp teeth," says Kurtzman. "There's actually another skill set Ravage has that didn't exist before, so there's going to be a surprise for fans." He'll still be the ultimate spy connected to Soundwave.
Soundwave, who was originally a cassette player in the toys, he will now be an orbiting space satellite. "They are still connected," Orci says of Soundwave and his pet. "But rather than trying to hold onto a notion as antiquated as an audiotape, which some members of our audience have maybe never laid eyes on, we wanted to go a new way."
There's photos of him in the gallery.
The Doctor, a spiderlike droid who can turn into instruments of torture. He'll be set loose on Shia LeBeouf's Sam so consider it revenge for Mutt!
Wheelie, a small radio-controlled truck.
Demolisher, one of the Constructicons that transform into construction vehicles.
Devestator, a giant robot formed by all the Constructicons (Scavenger, Scrapper, Hightower, Longhaul, Rampage, Overload and Mixmaster) joining together."He's made of vehicles designed to build, and he turns into is someone who loves to destroy,".
Last but not least is the title character of The Fallen. He's an ancient robot, the Transformers' version of Lucifer, whose arrogance caused him to be banished. He's the key to life on Earth and Cybertron.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Sideswipe: (Corvette Stringray)
The Twins: Skids and Mudflap (Chevy Beat and Chevy Trax)
Jolt: (Chevy Volt)
2. Take the lower portion of the bottle. Dissolve the brown sugar in hot water. Let it cool down to ~70 degF.
3. Add the yeast. Carbon dioxide will form (This will attract the mosquitos)
4. Cover the bottle with a dark wrap and place the top portion upside down like a funnel. Place it in a corner in your house.
5. In 2 weeks you will be surprised by the number of mosquitos killed. Check this link1 and this other link2 .
Earn with Clickbank
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
The sentence: 'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog' uses every letter of the alphabet. (Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out for accuracy, right?)
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes) .. (Yep, I knew you were going to 'do' this one.)
There are only four words in the English language which end in 'dous': tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. (You're not doubting this, are you?)
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: 'abstemious' and 'facetious.' (Yes, admit it, you are going to say, a e i o u)
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. (All you typists are going to test this out)
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. (Some days that's about what my memory span is.)
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years. (I know some people that could do this too.!)
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that also)
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
The cruise liner, QE 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. (Good thing he did that.)
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Monday, February 23, 2009
At home watch TV, go out bring HP.
No money, sell TV. Got money change HP.
Sometimes enjoy TV, but most of the time play with HP.
TV free for life but HP, if you don't pay the services will be terminated
TV is big, bulky and most of the time old, but handphone is cute, slim, curvy and very portable at any time.
Operational cost for TV is often acceptablebut for HP is high and often demanding,
Most Important, TV got remote..HP don't have..
Last but not least....... .
TV do not have virus, but HP yes......... .have VIRUS....... ........ once get it, terus KONG........ hahahahaha. .....
so better choose TV .....
...(but my friend claims he got fully anti-virus protection)
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
He says to the waiter, 'Me want coffee.'
The waiter says, 'Sure chief, coming right up...'
He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out..
The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and
Says to the waiter, 'Me want coffee.'
The waiter says, 'Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What the heck was all that about, anyway?'
The Indian smiles and proudly says, 'Me training for top management position: Come in, drink coffee, shoot some crap, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.
Leading mobile phone makers had good news for anyone with a drawer or cupboard full of old phone chargers on Tuesday: the industry plans to standardise the device to make a one-size-fits-all.
In a move set to reduce waste and increase convenience, 17 leading handset makers and operators including Nokia, Samsung and Motorola said they would move towards adopting a small USB charger as the standard across all models.
"The group has set an ambitious target that by 2012 a universal charging solution will be widely available in the market worldwide," said a statement from industry body the GSM Association.
Currently, each mobile phone maker has its own charger design, sometimes using several different ones across its range of models, which increases replacement costs for users and leads to piles of unwanted cables.
"I have dozens of chargers in my closet," admitted the chief executive of the GSMA, Rob Conway, who said an agreement was finally reached last Friday. "Our closets will no longer be so full."
The manufacturers had been under pressure from the European Commission, the executive branch of the European Union, which had threatened to legislate unless the industry came up with its own solution.
"We have not officially been told, but if the industry confirms it, we would welcome it," said a spokesman for EU Industry Commissioner Gunter Verheugen in Brussels.
Verheugen had told German radio station Deutsche Welle last week that with over 30 different kinds of charger in use across the 27-nation European Union, his "patience is now at an end," according to local reports.
The GSMA also stressed the environmental advantages of the new standard, saying the new charger would be more energy efficient and would reduce waste from unwanted or obsolete chargers.
"A universal charger will also make life much simpler for the consumer, who will be able to use the same charger for future handsets, as well as being able to charge their mobile phone anywhere from any available charger," it said in a statement.
The GSMA listed the leading groups in its initiative as 3 Group, AT&T, KTF, LG, mobilkom austria, Motorola, Nokia, Orange, Qualcomm, Samsung, Sony Ericsson, Telecom Italia, Telefonica, Telenor, Telstra, T-Mobile and Vodafone.
Mitti Storckovius, director of environment for Nokia handsets, said the company had already integrated functions to save energy in its chargers, including a message to unplug the phone when it is fully charged.
"By supporting this industry initiative ... we can contribute further in improving the industrys environmental footprint," he said in a statement.
At the Mobile World Congress, the industry's biggest trade show, several mobile phone makers are taking the opportunity to gauge consumer interest in "green" products.
South Korean handset maker Samsung unveiled the world's first solar-powered mobile phone on Monday called the "Blue Earth" which it put on display in front of curious crowds here.
The device, made from recycled materials and including a pedometer to measure a user's walking, is to be launched initially in Europe in the second half of 2009.
A full charge taking 10-14 hours in the sun would offer about four hours of talk time, according to company salesman, but it can also be charged by plug.
Source: MSN News by Agence France-Presse
Monday, February 16, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Our happiness is diluted and our peace is threatened by the financial illness that has infected our families, organisations and nations.
Everyone is desperate to find a remedy that will cure their financial illness and help them recover their financial health.
They expect the financial experts to provide them with remedies, forgetting the fact that it is these experts who created this financial mess.
Every new year, I adopt a couple of old maxims as my beacons to guide my future.
This self-prescribed therapy has ensured that with each passing year, I grow wiser and not older.
This year, I invite you to tap into the financial wisdom of our elders along with me, and become financially wiser.
- Hard work - All hard work brings profit; but mere talk leads only to poverty.
- Laziness - A sleeping lobster is carried away by the water current.
- Earnings - Never depend on a single source of income.
- Spending - If you buy things you don't need, you'll soon sell things you need.
- Savings - Don't save what is left after spending; Spend what is left after saving.
- Borrowings - The borrower becomes the lender's slave.
- Accounting - It's no use carrying an umbrella, if your shoes are leaking.
- Auditing - Beware of little expenses; a small leak can sink a large ship.
- Risk-taking - Never test the depth of the river with both feet.
- Investment - Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
I'm equally confident that those who resolve to start practising these principles will quickly regain their financial health.
Let us become wiser and lead a happy, healthy, prosperous and peaceful life.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
The man who invented Rubik's Cube almost 30 years ago has come up with a maddening new challenge, the Rubik's 360. A new game by Professor Erno Rubik, inventor of the legendary Cube, is tipped to become a best-seller when it goes on sale later this year. After the Rubik's cube great success in 1974, Professor Erno Rubik has been working on the Rubik's 360 for 26 years. The Rubik's 360 confronts users with the same frustrating challenge. A task that is simple to understand, but extremely difficult to solve.
The objective is players must get the coloured balls from an inner sphere into matching slots on the outer sphere by shaking them through a middle sphere that has only two holes.
This toy is newly launched, so there's no video of how to play this rubik 360 actually. Maybe in a week or two, there will be the first rubik's 360 champion. :D
- It has 43,252,003,274,489,856,000 possible combinations on its six faces
- It has only one solution
- More than 350,000,000 Cubes sold worldwide
- Invented in 1974 but not exported from Hungary until 1980
- A standard 3x3 Rubik’s cube measures 2¼ inches (5.7cm) on each side
- It has 39,600 entries on YouTube
- The first international 'speedcubing’ championship was held in Hungary in 1982 and was won by Los Angeles student Minh Thai with a time of 22.95 seconds.
- The current British 'speedcubing’ champion is Breandan McElhill, 16, from Ayrshire with an unofficial personal best time of 7.9 seconds.
- The current world 'speedcubing’ champion is Dutch teenager Eric Akkersdijk with an official time of 7.08 seconds.
- Variations on 'speedcubing’ include solving the cube with a single hand, with feet, blindfolded or underwater in a single breath. The British blindfold 'speedcube’ champion is Joey Gouly, 17, from Leeds with a time of 48 seconds.
- The slowest solver is thought to be Graham Parker, 45, a builder from Portchester, Hants, who finished his Cube earlier this month 26 years after he bought it. “When I clicked that last bit into place and each face was a solid colour I wept,” he said.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
My wife walked into the den & asked "Whats on the tv?"
I replied "Dust".
And that's how the fight started.....
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And that's how the fight started.....
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.
'I bought her a scale.
And that's how the fight started.....
I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started....
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started....
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started.....
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's when the fight started.....
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying *&^%$ YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true!!!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Ah Mute couldn't speak so he uses use sign language to communicate.
Ah Mute signalled why Ah Beng wasn't at work.
Ah Beng looked around and gathered some leaves under the tree and stood on them. He looked at Ah Mute and pointed down at the leaves.
Ah Mute was confused....
Later, Ah Sian passed by and saw Ah Beng standing on the leaves.
Ah Mute then signalled Ah Sian on what was Ah Beng was trying to say ..
Ah Sian began typing on his handphone and showed it to Ah Mute.
'Aiyo so simple, Ah Beng Is On Leave!'
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
- Engine to be in good condition and tuned up
- Spark plugs must be in good condition.
- Regularly serviced, as per recommended intervals.
- Dirty air cleaners restrict air flow into your engine.
- Wheels must be properly aligned
- Tyre pressures must be correct. Under-inflated tyres will result in poor fuel consumption.
- Wider tyres use more fuel.
- Minimise engine idling
- A running engine in a stationary car gets zero kilometres per litre.
- Do not place foot on clutch (MT)
- Be gentle with your right foot
- Accelerate gently. Excess fuel pumped into the cylinders gets blown out through the exhaust.
- Keep the engine revolutions low; find the ‘sweet spot’ in your engine. (usually around 2,000 rpm)
- Try to keep RPM below 2,000 rpm.
- Minimise ‘lugging’ (rpm too low)
- Anticipate traffic situations, lift off when approaching traffic lights – minimise your braking.
- Get to 4th gear ASAP (AT)
- Driving too slow will cause transmission downshift.
- MT – Get to 5th gear ASAP
- Driving too slow causes ‘lugging’
- Minimise weight
- Do not carry unnecessary weight in your vehicle.
- Air-conditioners need fuel
- Run with air-cond off when the weather permits.
- Minimise weight
- Do not carry unnecessary weight in your vehicle.
Monday, January 5, 2009
One day an employee sends a letter to Her boss asking for an increase in her salary!!!
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
The next day, the employee recieved this letter of reply:
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Interviewer: 'What is your birth date?'
Muthu : '13th October.'
Interviewer : 'Which year?'
Muthu : 'Every year.'
MUTHU & HIS MANAGER
The Manager asked Muthu at an interview... .
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?'
Muthu replied: 'P-O-S-T-B-O-X.'
MUTHU & LONDON TRIP
After returning from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, 'Do I look like a foreigner?'
Wife: 'No! Why?'
Muthu : 'In London , a lady asked me, 'Are you a foreigner?'.. that's why.'
Wife : ?????????
MUTHU & TOURIST
A tourist from U.S.A. asked Muthu whether any great man was born in his village...
Muthu said , 'No sir, only babies were born here.'
MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT
Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach. First he cut off one leg and told it to 'WALK! WALK!'
The cockroach walked. Then he cut off it's second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off the third leg and did the same.
Finally, he cut off its fourth leg and ordered it walk!
But the cockroach didn't walk.
Suddenly, Muthu said loudly, 'I found it. If we cut a cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.'
MUTHU & DRIVER
When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, the driver adjusted the mirror.
Muthu shouted, 'You are trying to see my wife, eh? Sit in the back. I will drive.'
MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL
Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to the washbasin.
Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin.
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
Muthu pointed towards the signboard
MUTHU & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART
Interviewer : 'Just imagine you're in the 20th floor of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?'
Muthu: 'It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination. '
MUTHU & PRESS
At a political rally, Muthu was arrested. Why????????? ???
Because a lady journalist with a badge which read '*PRESS*' pinned on the right part of her blouse walked past him... and he did it!